Here I am casting my bread on the waters, taking a leap of faith that I am supposed to be sharing what I am given with those who might want to read. Be it gluten-free or gluten full, this bread is what I have to share with any of you who care to partake.
A birthday card I got from Peter included a verse form Genesis that I honestly forgot about. After all, Genesis is mostly about post sin stuff, life after the garden, that ideal life we never had, right? It all seemed to go downhill from there. Did I mention feeling overwhelmed with all the tasks that face me at age 62? Feeling like I would like some reprieve from life, I must admit a kind of blue mood buzzed around me yesterday (my birthday).
Just as I was starting this meditative time with God I remembered I had not opened Peter's card, which held a beautiful message of God's special plan, and deep love for me. It reminded me that God has been the author of my life. He has pre-screened all that has come at me and has never left me.
So the verse in Genesis 15:1 (and much of the rest of it) speaks loudly to my aging earthly self. This is God's promise to Abram, an old man. "Do not fear Abram, I am a shield to you; Your rewards shall be great." Immediately Abram, in his weariness and hopelessness questions God, which is not a sin unless we refuse to listen for His answer. He questions who will benefit from this "great reward," as he sees it limited to this earthly venue, and making sure God remembers that he is sadly without a direct heir. He is pointed with God that He has not given him offspring, and seems to be resigned to a hopeless finality about this. Are his inner thoughts "I am old" and, "You haven't made it happen yet so....?"
But God takes him to task, and makes him a whopping huge promise. God is not finished with him at all. He is going to give him this promised heir, and countless direct descendants.
Then God takes Abram through a covenant making ceremony that is dramatic and prophetic. Abram gets a snapshot of God's bigger picture and plan for Abram's people. This is a plan far more detailed than Abram could imagine, with greater purpose and hope than Abram could muster in his wildest dreams.
So God broke through to me again. As Abram, I yield myself to a loving God, who is not finished with me yet. I abandon again the preconceived plans of what life should look like at this stage, and I seek His wisdom and guidance with a new release to live for his glory, to be fueled by His supernatural love and power, and to walk not as an "old person," but as His child, molded and guided by His loving hand.
